Something came up today that makes me just want to post this in hopes that anyone who is really depressed and needs this message reads it, can take comfort from it and decide to hang on. Depression sucks, suicide sucks even more, and it all really breaks my heart.
It breaks my heart especially because I know how pervasive and reality-distorting depression can be from personal experience. I too have struggled with suicidal thoughts in the past, and I have survived these thoughts. I've learned not to listen much to my mind when it's in depression mode and churning out negative shit, because it's fucking dangerous to do so. Still you have to be aware always, because depression really is a lying bastard, as The Bloggess says, and it is also a very subtle bastard too. One minute you're drinking coffee at your kitchen table worried if you pissed off a close friend then you're thinking what an asshole you are and within 30 minutes you get these thoughts that you really don't deserve to live and you believe every word that fucking depression is telling you. That's how subtle and dangerous it can be. And not a damn word is true.
So, if anyone reading this is really depressed and struggling with suicidal thoughts Please don't leave us. I don't care who you are, what you've done or not done, and whether you feel like you are loved or not, remember this, emblazon it into your soul:
You are loved. Absolutely. Positively. Whether you're good or bad. You just are.
I don't care what depression is telling you, I don't care whether you believe you're loved or not. Pretend you believe that you're loved. Pretend it's true. Because it is, I fucking promise you. I know this. You can know it too.
And please, please call the national suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255. We want you here. Please stay.