Just a little quickie here (and don't be so damn dirty-minded, people, I'm talking about writing) to apologize for not writing in a while. It's been so long since I posted here that I forgot my Blogger password, and had to reset it to get back in. Once I did, I thought I would look at my stats. Yesterday I actually posted a comment on the Bloggess' blog (haven't done that in a while either), and I noticed I got some hits from that, and felt ashamed that my most recent post was from May. So I thought I would write up a little postie. That and I'm bored again at work and am actively trying to get myself laid off/fired so I can be one of the 47 irresponsible percent that Mitt Romney doesn't give a shit about because we're collecting our "entitlements" from the govmint.
So why the hell haven't I been writing in this here blog? Well, for one thing, when the Bloggess was in Austin for her booksigning in April, she told me to quit writing about bacon, so I've been at a loss as to what else to write about, because I live to write about bacon, damnit. But the Bloggess is my hero (I'd write heroine, but every time I read that word I think heroin, and if I write it it sounds to me like I have a drug problem and/or that I'm addicted to the Bloggess, which could be the same thing, or similar or whatever, but I'm rambling now so I should just stopit), and I really value her opinion so I decided to quit writing about bacon so that meant I had to stop writing.
Well, OK, that's not entirely the truth. Even though I met the Bloggess at the booksigning, it was for like 5 seconds while a nice Bookpeople employee took our picture on my iPhone, and she (the Bloggess, not the nice Bookpeople employee) didn't say anything about bacon writing, nor did I. She was very nice and sweet, though, and was trying very hard not to look too unnerved when I placed my hand on her shoulder while our picture was being taken.
However, prior to having my picture taken with the Bloggess, and after her bookreading when she took audience questions, she did tell us en masse in response to a newbie blogger's request for blogging advice to stop writing about bacon, because it's been done, and she was talking about writing about bacon, not about bacon itself. (Yes, I know that's a grammatically incorrect run-on sentence - I'm a trained journalist, so I know what I'm doing, people). In any case, I felt quite sure that she was talking to me, since I had been writing about bacon very prolifically. As a matter of fact I swear she was looking right at me when she told us not to write about bacon. So in essence she did tell me to stop writing about bacon.
But really, really, that's not why I quit writing in my blog. Or, not exactly why. The truth is that, while I really enjoy writing humorously, or at least attempting to write humorously, it was taking a lot out of me to do so. And I write too damn much any way (see I was attempting to write a quickie here, and I've already written five fucking paragraphs, which isn't a quickie, it's a hurry-up-and-come-damn-it-before-I-fall-asleep-this-is-such-a-long-bad-lay kinda thing). And I had other things to do, like watch paint dry and pick cat lint out of my navel, and writing in my blog was taking entirely too much time and energy from that sort of thing.
So I quit writing. I kept intending to come back, but I was afraid that all I had to say was bacon-related and I just didn't have the energy to come up with new topics, so I just didn't come here. I didn't even go look at my stats (obviously). However, I might be ready to give it a go again, but maybe this time I'll just write very short posts, although this was supposed to be a short post, and I screwed that up. I obviously suck at short-blog-post writing. I also suck at not-writing-about-bacon, since I now realize that most of this post is about bacon. Well holy-shit-on-a-shizzle - can't I do anything right? I may have to rethink this whole blogging thing, unless I can figure out a way to make bacon writing a successful, entertaining, money-making niche. Could happen, no matter what the Bloggess says.