Friday, April 6, 2012

Five or six or maybe eight things I’ve learned about Twitter

It's now been close to four months since I've been actively using Twitter. During that time I've learned a few random things about Twitter that I'm going to share with you (and no, this isn't going to do a damn thing to help you gain more followers on Twitter, improve your social media skills, attract more chicks or dudes, whiten your teeth or anything else useful):

  1. Twitter is very addicting. It's so much so for me that now that I have an iPhone, I read my Twitter feed in the john. At least I haven't started live tweeting there. Not yet anyway.
  2. Twitter is also a great way to avoid working. However, it doesn't sit very well with your boss when you tell her you were tweeting instead of doing your TPS reports. Especially when social media isn't even remotely part of your job description.
  3. Big-boobed spambots on Twitter, much like email spambots, seem to think I'm a man with ED and lots of money rather than the post-menopausal woman of modest means that I really am. Sorry ladies, I'm just not your type.
  4. It's not a good idea to tweet and talk on your iPhone at the same time. Unless you're 14 years old. Then you probably have the motor skills, and the brain cells, to do that. Post-menopausal women born way before 1982 and named Zippy don't.
  5. I only follow 25 people and I still can’t keep up with everyone’s tweets. How those of you who follow 25,000 people or more keep up with them is completely beyond me. Obviously you've got attention deficit disorder working for you. Or you're 14 years old. Which in many respects is the same thing.
  6. @altonbrown is the shit. For real. I enjoy reading his tweets as much as The Bloggess’. And there was something really sexy about the photo he tweeted this Tuesday of him with his facial stubble and holding a green smoothie. Don't ask me why: I have no frickin' idea.
  7. Having your blogging icon, The Bloggess, follow you on Twitter totally rocks. If that's all I ever accomplish on Twitter, I'll die happy. 
  8. And, yes, #7 may truly be all I accomplish, because even though I'm addicted to Twitter, I still really don't get it. All I know is that I spend entirely too much time on it. Maybe I need to take up knitting socks for cats or something like that instead. At least then I'd get something tangible done.


  1. I've actually used info I found on twitter to contribute to work discussions -- I've been able to send links to coworkers and my boss for really relevant & current articles on the problem du jour. Twitter has made me look smarter and more connected (at least once!) at work, so it's justified my account.

  2. Wow - you're a much better person than I am! I just use Twitter to waste time, mostly, though I've managed to pick up a few good recipes from Alton Brown. That I'll probably never use, because they far surpass my cooking skills. But it gives me something to aspire to.

    Thanks so much for your comment!


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