Friday, March 9, 2012

The Big Blue Funk; AKA My Head is Up My Ass

For the five of you who are my only and most ardent fans, I apologize for my lack of posting lately. Unfortunately, I've had my head up my ass for the last few weeks. Part of this is due to: a) getting a new iPhone, becoming completely enamored of it and spending a fair amount of my spare time just playing around with it (to the chagrin of my boyfriend); b) watching a lot of television, and c) spending the rest of my spare time berating myself and otherwise letting myself fall into a blue funk of stupendous proportions. All of these may  be related, but I think it's more that the iPhone and television are distracting me from my stupendous blue funk.

Blue funks suck quite a bit. And when the Bloggess says depression is a lying bastard, the girl ain't just talking smack. It is absolutely true. I've had depression accuse me of all sorts of shit, and absolutely none of it makes me feel very good about myself. Problem is I don't know how to make it stop. My depression mind loves this shit, loves to tell me how bad I am and lovingly obsesses over every little crappy detail in my life that can prove its theorem that I am just a bad little bitch. I know it's not true, but still, part of me believes it.

In any case, I think it will eventually pass, and I'm not going to jump off a roof or anything. I cycle through these funks from time to time and I always make it through. It just means that I'm having a bit of problem posting. It just seems so overwhelming, and I'd like to be all fun and witty and try to keep the five of you entertained, but it's a little bit difficult at the moment. I'm also trying to figure out what the hell I want this blog to be about. I like being funny, but it's not always easy to write funny, and you and I both know I'm no Bloggess, and you're probably breathing a sigh of relief because I just admitted that. (Don't worry, I've known all along I'm not like the Bloggess, so you don't have to tell me that).

Anyway, I hope the five of you won't give up on me and will come back. I'll try to post some more, but it will probably just be short and sweet, which is probably what it should be anyway. God knows we don't need more hot air and bullshit in this world. Just look at it as I'm trying to be more blogging eco-friendly or something. Shit, that really didn't make any sense to me either, but I'm somewhat sleep deprived and hallucinating. My head is definitely up my ass. I'd better shut up and go to bed.

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